26 Aug The Secret To Getting What You Need In A Relationship!

Hey girl!

Are you in a relationship? Do you find it hard to ask for what you need in a relationship? I did too, until I learned this great tip. I found that I was able to get my message across better, and both my boyfriend and I were so much happier.

I have a HUGE secret that will CHANGE the game…. use “I FEEL” statements, not “I THINK” statements.

Let me explain…

First things first, this is not to be used to try to make your boyfriend/husband/significant other change, this is to express how you are feeling and ask if they are OPEN to making an adjustment… it’s all a negotiation. This is the best way to express your needs in a way that does NOT sound accusatory!

Instead of saying,

“You’re being this way and I think you should…”,

saying,

“I am feeling this way, and to help me feel better, would you be open to…” 

Using “I feel” statements is beneficial for 3 huge reasons:

1. It puts you in your feminine energy!

When there are two opposing masculine energies, it can cause volatility and it’ll be harder for either one of you to hear the other. When we step into our feminine, it allows us to take it slow and observe how he handles the situation (very important for dating!). When you are in your feminine energy, it allows the man to step up into his masculine energy and you can work together with some problem-solving!

2.  Using “I feel” statements is less accusatory!

If we are using phrases, such as, “I think you need to be doing this…” or “What you’re doing isn’t working”, it might not come across the way we want, and it could sound accusatory. Using “I feel” statements shows that you are emotionally intelligent and that your man may not be doing something wrong, but rather there’s a situation that needs to be addressed.

3.  “I feel” statements show emotional intelligence!

Before we can know what we feel, we have to go inside and come up with a proper way to say it. Before lashing out from immediate emotions, go inside and figure out why you feel that way before you even say anything! If I ever want to bring something up to my boyfriend, I wait a few days so I know what I’m feeling and why I’m feeling it.

***Bonus tip, remind your partner that you are both on the same side and you’re working through this issue TOGETHER. It’s never one against the other, it’s two against an issue.

I hope this was helpful! Comment below your thoughts, and don’t forget to subscribe to my newsletter to get updates on my blog and Instagram!